Here's to the Music...

Well, I'm so thankful I have music for an escape. Sometimes I really need it.

I've been thinking a lot about that the last little while. I spend as much time playing piano in a week as I do sleeping almost. And the practice is really starting to show. The music I can sit and play easily now, as compared to even six months ago.... it's a big difference.

When I was 15, I took eight half-hour lessons from a friend who had grade ten level piano. I quit after eight lessons because she kept pestering me to practice scales, work on arpeggios, bla bla bla... not something I wanted to do. I wanted to PLAY.... I wanted the escape that music provided, the release of emotions it gave me, and still does, everytime I sit down and play.

When I play piano, it's different from any other instrument I play. I feel .... well, music is a very personal thing to me. I've written a lot of songs, very few have lyrics....(I think I've said before my lyric writing is pure crap, so I don't try anymore...) and a lot of MY music, I don't play for others. I play those pieces only when I'm alone and I know no one else is around to hear. For me, it's like I'm cutting off a piece of my soul every time I sit down to play. IT's very personal, and I feel very exposed when I play with people around. I have a hard time playing in church, I really struggle with it, but I do it because I know it's doing me some good, and because I really, really REALLY hate listening to people at church sing with no music to accompany them, it's absolutely horrific. Honestly, some people can't carry a tune to save their life. Some of them aren't much better WITH accompaniment, but at least I can focus more on the sound of the piano than on their voices.

I am getting better at accepting compliments for my playing, as well as not feeling like an idiot whenever I hit a wrong note, or I can't play exactly what's written for both bass and treble clef. A lot of time if it's a new song, I make up something for the bass that just fits with the notes of the melody.

Anyway.... it's late, and I shouldn't get into a big technical music thing right now, I'll be up all night thinking about it.

Good night all.

Regarding Expletives.....

Okay, here's the deal....

I'm trying really, really, REALLY hard to live a clean life. That means clean in language, actions, thoughts, etc etc etc....

Occasionally I'll be going back and changing a post, changing certain words, or, as the last one.... simply changing what I said to "EXPLETIVE". LOL.

I have another blog in which I'll really let loose if I feel the need, Those of you who know me already know where that is... those of you who don't, ask, and maybe I'll tell you.

At any rate, I should be in bed. Im playing piano at a funeral tomorrow, and I need to be in top form. The old gent who passed on deserves no less.

So Once again, Good Night, Xanga.

Artist Rights....

Okay, so I'm sitting here, reading this damn news article online about how Prince is suing EBay and YouTube for violation of copyright laws, etc etc etc.... There's a statement from his lawyer or representative or whatever, saying, ""YouTube ... are clearly able (to) filter porn and pedophile material but appear to choose not to filter out the unauthorized music and film content which is core to their business success,"

What a load of BULLCRAP!!!!

This is core to their business success, people. After all, it's not like millions of people have purchased their movies or albums, and are (more than likely) using a soundtrack from an album they BOUGHT as background or whatever for the films they put on YouTube, right?

I'm sure prince has children who are starving because someone has stolen a song from him, and is using it online, thereby starving this artist.

EXPLETIVE DELETED.

I'm a musician. I can write music to go with anything, (although my lyrics are crap, so I don't even try anymore, LOL...)

I would love to be able to make a living from my music. But you know what? Music is more than that to me. It's a RELEASE. If I ever was published, or whatever the HECK you call a musician with an album out, I would be HONOURED if people were pirating my work. Music is a gift, it's not something I own, or could ever hope to own. I figure for ever one person who pirates a song, or uses it illegally, there are ten who own the album. The human race may be corrupt, but we're not that bad, not yet.

So, Prince, Mr "Can't talk about myself without referring to myself as Prince, instead of me", MORE EXPLETIVES DELETED.

And I don't have EXPLETIVE, so you must understand how deeply that is meant.

Honestly, though.... there are people dying of starvation in other countries... hell, there are people dying of starvation in Canada and the USA, never mind other countries!!! Isn't there something better for a VERY wealthy artist to complain about other than copyright violations?

G'Nite Xanga.

Okay... so... just some background on where I'm coming back from...

I started going back to my church a while back... i think it's been closer to two years than one, but I can't remember for sure. Time goes by so fast. I've been going to AA for almost a year, and haven't had as much luck finding sobriety as I hoped, but I'm finding a balance, bit by bit. As they say... we learn line upon line, precept upon precept. As I look back on past posts, both on this blog and another, it's sobering to see how many times I posted early in the day, and was already drinking.

I'm trying to get my life back on track a hundred percent so I can go back to school and get a degree in social work.

Maybe that's a bit better than just posting "hey, i'm back, this post is lame because there's nothing in it.". LOL.

Talk to you later, Xanga.

Back to Basics...

Hey everyone.... gosh, i"m not sure if anyone even remembers this site exists.

I'm thinking of resurrecting the ol' Phoenix and keeping my other blog private for private things.Not too sure yet, but I do miss xanga, and god knows I don't get out in public with real people very often, so I might as well be talking to folks online.

I'm still at the same job as the last time I blogged here, although I did leave for a month this summer. My summertime boss keeps offering me more money, more money, more money, to go back again. But it's not about the money. I don't really even know what it's about, right now, I just need some stability in my life. I need to learn to be open and honest. I need to learn how to communicate with other people, and not isolate so damned much.

At any rate, sorry this first post back isn't super exciting or anything. My life isn't super exciting.

It's good to be back though, hope to catch up with y'all later.

Gothic Phoenix.